The ass of all things

Single guys don’t need much to survive – food, clothing, shelter, house-help, and sex. Ah well. If you are a guy you need sex, preferably with another person. That is not to imply that women don’t need sex. They are just prudish about it. Also, they don’t have an appendage dangling between their legs raising its point periodically.

No wonder chauvinists tend to believe men have more brains than women. I am not one to concur with people for I believe concurrence exhibits a weakness of character. The fact remains, however, that men do have two centres of thought, though the one between our ears has atrophied due to eons of disuse. To make up for it, we think from our balls. We keep it simple too. We think only two things – sex, and ways to think of sex.

I don’t know what women think. I don’t wish to get into a woman’s mind. I would rather get into her bed, thank you very much. It took me 19 of my 25 years on this planet to realise the obviousness of the truth first distilled and sublimed by Harold Robbins. Tits and ass – they make the world go round. Of course, pear-shaped tits like those of Cindy Crawford, Sharon Stone and Elizabeth Hurley, and heart-shaped asses like those of Kim Basinger, Kylie Minogue, and Naomi Campbell do a far better job.

More than the blatant sexual connotation, there is a deeper significance to that statement. It is simply another way to word the ‘carrot and stick policy’. Obviously, tits are the carrots. They are usually all the motivation men ever need, and usually cause for all the self-esteem, or the lack of it, in women. And nothing works more beautifully than a bamboo up the ass – the deeper the bamboo the louder the moan.

The super boss is in town. The asses of all the other bosses are collectively on fire. It is great fun! It is not sadistic pleasure, mind you. It transcends sadism and reaches a plain hitherto unknown. What’s more, there is good whiskey – Royal Salute 21 years. Smooth, like wiping your arse with silk. Chivas Regal 18 years is bird vomit compared to it.

Have been in meetings with the MAN (Money, Authority, Need) the last two days. Good fun. He rams your ass in such a way that the only thing you can say once you have recouped sufficiently from your orgasmic spasms is ‘thank you’. I had more than my fair share of humping. There is more in the offing for he does not leave till next week. Yoo hoo!