From this year to the next

There are some things money can't buy - good times and friends to state a couple. Okay. Bad examples. The fact remains that there is no life without money, whatever those suave Mastercard ads say be damned. And if you get to spend someone else's money, then you are in what I choose to call monetary nirvana.

For a change, this New Year's eve I had no intent to indulge in alcohol. Not like I have been ritually drinking each 31st December but it is the thought that counts. Anyway. I had intent. That does not mean I went through with it. Honestly, I think it is the feeble minded who carry out what they intend to. There is a certain charm in making a resolve and then going back on it. Not everyone can do it.

Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on which end of the spectrum you choose to belong to, most of the human race continues to believe in integrity, morality, and ethics. They tend to be straightforward - practice what they preach. Dull, I know. Yes, some don't do a one hundred percent compliance. That is dull too. It is doing a complete volte face that only the select few are capable of. Therein lies the magnetism of humanity.

Anyway. There was an office party at a disc. It would not be an exaggeration if I said that at the end of it I had enough liquor in me to stock a decent bar. Two Black Labels on the rocks (that is the only acceptable way to have scotch) started it all. This was followed by a few shots of whiskey, tequila, and vodka. Somewhere around midnight, a bottle of champagne was uncorked. Post that there were a few shots of rum. It was rounded off well by Flaming Lambourghini - hold Drambuie in your mouth, light it up, and then gulp it down. Almost like the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster - having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick¹.

Not too many babes around, though. The few that were were either taken, married or gay. How did I know? I already explained about knowing when a woman is gay². It is easier determining a woman's marital status. Her left ring finger gives it away. Some married women don't wear a ring, and some unmarried women do. It does not matter. What matters is this. If she is wearing a ring, she is telling you to keep off. If she is not, then she is open to invitation. Why should it make any difference if she is married or otherwise provided she is available?

Went to a couple of clubs after that. A few women gyrating their booty to the music, but nothing that could entice me enough to park my derriere for any respectable span of time. Got home around four, went to my room, took my clothes off, and hit the sack. Woke up when hunger got the better of me. Around 1:30 in the afty. Ate. Watched Boston Legal. Ate some more. And slept again, this time only to wake up the next morning.

Life is good!

1. Douglas Adams; Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
2. Script Writer; Hitting the nail on the head; Of Travels and Travails